


Hogwarts SMP

by chaoticmoron



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Dadza, implied jschlatt/quackity, no beta we die like schlatt, no confirmed ships because i like to play around with dynamics lol, platonic flirting !!!!, slytherin tubbo rights, stan george and quackity's friendship, the feral boys are feral
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticmoron/pseuds/chaoticmoron
Summary: dream, george, sapnap, karl, and quackity are fifth year unregistered animagi and avid troublemakers. philza and his sons are simply living life, and everyone else is there too.basically just a bunch of oneshots, all from the same alternate universe. there might be ships added later, as well as more characters. (lowercase is intentional!)
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap & Alexis | Quackity
Comments: 23
Kudos: 189





	1. storytelling

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first published work for the dream smp/mcyt community! i'm really excited to continue writing little oneshots like these, so let me know if you have any scenarios or people you want to see! enjoy!

hogwarts is known for having troublemaking groups of students. the newest generation of hogwarts is most definitely not an exception. 

headmaster philza minecraft, better known as philza to the students, put a hand to his cheek. he let his hand slide down the side of his face. sitting in front him were five students that he himself hadn’t had much experience with compared to other professors like alyssa, connor, and puffy. philza knew that these boys were wildly uncontrollable, but their respective house heads usually gave them more than enough detention.

“so,” philza leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. he stretched his wings as the portraits around them sat excitedly, waiting for his words. “how are you boys today?”

this brought a chuckle from them. the fifth years sat in a line on a bench philza had conjured, all looking varying degrees of worried. on the right was dream, a slytherin. to philza, he seemed nonchalant. however, the metamorphagus could tell that he was worried about his punishment.

next to dream sat george. the ravenclaw boy didn’t look to be nervous or worried at all, but philza could see that he was very angry at the other boys. philza presumed it was because he didn’t expect to get caught and blamed it on them.

sat in the middle of the five was quackity. he looked the least affected out of them. the gryffindor leaned back against the bench, one arm slung behind george, the other fixing his hat. he absentmindedly peered at the moving portraits as philza waited for an answer.

next to him sat sapnap, another gryffindor. although he was more worried than dream, philza saw that embarrassment trumped that. sapnap had both his arms slung behind the bench, one around quackity and the other around the last boy. his face was red and he was looking down at his shoes.

the last boy was the most worried. karl, a hufflepuff, sat on the far left, leaning onto sapnap. he had his hands in his robe sleeves, which he was pulling on furiously. one of his legs was bouncing as he looked anywhere but phil.

after a good moment, quackity spoke up.

“well, big p.” philza chuckled at that, reminded of his own gryffindor son. philza figured they’d been hanging around together. “i’d like to say that we’re, uh, we’re doing just fine. how’re you on this fine day?”

“i, uh,” philza turned his gaze out to the window, where the snow was falling quickly. “you know, i”m good. so… care to explain?”

“you know, i really would not,” quackity grinned, karl leaning over to hit him on the chest. “agh! sorry, sorry!”  
this got laughs from all the boys, including george. philza chuckled as well, reaching up to brush his bangs out of his face.

“well, professor,” dream spoke up.

“you can call me philza, dream.”

“ah, right. so you see, it all started because of sapnap.” this prompted the gryffindor to sit up immediately, making karl squawk in protest.

“hey! slow your roll, dreamie! we both know this was because of george!”

george gaped at sapnap before pushing his goggles onto his head and turning to the other.

“excuse me? how can you blame it all on me when quackity is sitting right there!” george nudged his shoulder into the other’s side, a yelp following.

“huh? listen man, we all know that karl--” before he could even finish, he was laughing. the others, besides karl, joined, their momentary argument forgotten. “nah, nah, karl the most innocent one here.”

philza watched on as the both giggled and bickered. he let it happen for a bit, content to compare them to his own kids. after a moment, the headmaster cleared his throat, silencing the five boys immediately.

“alright. so i already know what happened. i wanted you to explain it, but since you can’t seem to decide on a lie,” the boys averted their gazes, embarrassed at being read so easily. “i’ll just tell you what i know and we’ll see what we’re gonna do. sound good?”

there were mutters of “yes, philza.” and one “you got it, big p!” before philza nodded and leaned back in his chair. he fluttered his wings, clearing his throat.

“alright. so this is what i know.”

———————-

it hadn’t been a prank at first. it had all started when, in the gryffindor common room, sapnap and quackity were at the fireplace playing chess. quackity hated chess, but since no one else in gryffindor was up to get demolished by sapnap, he figured he’d let it happen. after sapnap checkmated him once again, quackity stood up, kicked the board, and stretched his limbs.

“QUACKITY! WHAT THE HELL?” sapnap scrambled to stand up, lunging at quackity. the other gryffindor quickly skipped backwards to avoid being tackled to the ground. 

“hey, hey! listen man, listen! chess is dogwater! let’s get the boys and do something, babycakes!” quackity looped around sapnap, pulling the other into a spin. sapnap stumbled, pushing himself away from quackity. “aww, sappy, are you blushing?”

“i hate you. i hate you so much i-- alright let’s get the others.” sapnap cleared his throat and pulled quackity towards the exit. 

they passed a few familiar faces on the way. tommy, a third year, saw them as he was writing his essay. next to him sat a ravenclaw, and two slytherins; they all looked to be in the same year.

“hey, big q! my friend!” the blonde laughed at himself. “hi, sapnap! fellas, say hi, they’re popular.”

that made sapnap and quackity laugh, so they stopped to say hi and introduce themselves. tommy introduced the first slytherin as tubbo, the ravenclaw as ranboo, and the second slytherin as purpled. quackity felt like he recognized tubbo, eyeing his horns and animal-like ears, but he shook it off. tubbo said hi loudly, ranboo avoided eye contact and waved, and purpled nodded at them before turning back to his essay.

“it was good to meet you guys!” sapnap, one of gryffindors prefects, smiled wide. “i’m glad tommy’s made friends outside of gryffindor!” 

sapnap and quackity had always liked tommy. he was fun, loud, and matched their energy. this statement made tommy stutter and try to convince his friends that he actually had way more friends than that. sapnap and quackity cackled and continued on. they waved at lazar and hbomb, two seventh years, who were stood at the exit. 

“what’re you lot getting into today, hm?” lazar tilted his head as the boys attempted to avoid the question.

“well, y’see, uh, bye!” quackity pushed sapnap through before the other could say anything, both stumbling into the corridor. from here, they ran to the slytherin common room first. after years of retrieving each other in the middle of the night to go out on… “walks”, all five boys knew exactly where the common rooms are. finally arriving, sapnap leaned against the wall opposite of the of him while quackity knocked furiously, trying to find the entrance. 

“what the hell do you want? jesus christ.” quackity and sapnap’s heads snapped around to meet each other’s gaze. that wasn’t dream talking, and it sure as hell was anyone else in their year.

“oh shit, sapnap. that’s schlatt.” quackity’s eyes were huge as he turned back to the wall and stood, frozen. 

“no way. no way. oh god, oh fuck,” sapnap watched as the wall moved, revealing schlatt standing over quackity.

“hey, uh, schlatt,” quackity giggled nervously. he could hear sapnap slowly move away as schlat looked him up and down. “we just, uh, we, uh. we, y’know-”

“yeah? what’s up, quackity?” schlatt leaned against the frame of the opening and stuck a hand in his pocket. “spit it out.”

“dream! we need dream. um. please.” quackity had to look up at schlatt, and it was a struggle to keep himself from laughing nervously.

“dream, huh? yeah, i think i know that guy,” the sixth year turned back towards the common room, beckoning quackity to follow him. despite having been in the slytherin common room countless times, sapnap broke eye contact with quackity when the latter motioned for him to follow. quackity sighed softly and followed schlatt into the common room.

quackity would never get used to the slytherin common room. the decor wasn’t the problem, as “dark academia” and creepy it was. it was the gigantic window to the lake, to which the giant squid often visited. the knowledge that they were completely under the water, with a squid just swimming around them. it made quackity shiver.

“ayo, dream! got a cute little buddy here for you,” schlatt cupped a hand over his mouth, before smirking at quackity’s indignance.

“what!? schlatt, i- i’m one year younger than you! i’ll fuck you up, man,” quackity jumped around schlatt, who’d stopped at the other’s voice. schlatt smirked again, his fangs peeking through. 

“oh, i’m sure you will, sweetheart.” quackity’s face flushed, against his wishes. his mouth opened and closed around words he was trying to say. schlatt laughed at that, clapping quackity on the shoulder.

before quackity could say something stupid and embarrass himself more, he heard a familiar laugh. electing to ignore the hand still on his shoulder, quackity’s eyes scanned the room before landing on a familiar white mask. his friend was sitting next to ponk and callahan by a glass coffee table, all playing gobstones. dream was bent over the table, trying to breath while the other two chuckled at his troubles.

“daddy dream!” quackity yelled out before he could think otherwise, immediately regretting his decision. “uh, i meant-”

“ha! daddy dream, god. quackity, you are somethin’ special.” schlatt barked a surprised laugh, dropping his hand from quackity’s shoulder. the animagus gave quackity one last once over, chuckling as he left to sit in a chair near the window. 

quackity slapped a hand to his face,willing the redness to go away. dream had noticed him, said his goodbyes, and was jogging over the quackity. the taller boy rested a hand on quackity’s head, cackling. quackity said nothing, simply turning around and heading back to where he assumed sapnap was waiting for them. dream was greeted by everyone he passed by, bumping fists and exchanging pleasantries. after they left, the wall closed behind them and quackity let out an embarrassed groan.

“so, how’d it go?” sapnap was stood outside the common room, george by his side. “you were taking forever, so i went through the liberty to get george. almost got mauled by technoblade and married to wilbur. don’t ask.”

“yeah, yeah, they tend to do that. ant and sam are normal though,” george snickered, remembering sapnap’s blush at wilbur’s flirting. “sapnap just about melted, i thought he was going to say yes.”

“no way! no way! sapna-” dream interrupted himself with a wheeze, doubling over with his hands on his stomach.

“yeah, yeah, laugh it up, dream. wilbur’s gonna do it to you too, eventually. apparently he does this often.”

————————

philza waved his hand in the air, motioning sapnap to stop talking. the boys turned back to the headmaster, as they’d been fully emerged in their storytelling.

“i’m sorry, boys, but what does this have to do with the prank? telling me about my son’s flirting habits.” philza fought a smile as all the boys’ eyes widened as they remembered who they were talking to.

“sorry, headmaster…” george elbowed quackity, who’d started chuckling. “we’ll cut to the chase.”

“thank you, george.”

———————

after they’d retrieved karl with little interruptions, the boys went to formulate their plan. although it was steadily snowing, it was the middle of the day so they headed to the courtyard to think of a prank to pull. they sat for a while, chatting pleasantly while ideas were thrown around. 

“dream, you’ve got a gigantic, wrinkly brain,” karl began, pulling his sleeves over his hands. this comment prompted a fit of laughter from the others, dream doubling over. karl started again, between giggles. “dream, you got a big brain play?”

“do i have a big brain play?” dream considered this. he absentmindedly leaned into sapnap’s side. “actually, i might.”

———————

“so you guys figured out how to make an invisibility potion? as fifth years?” philza laughed, despite himself. “how did that come about?”

“well, i originally found the recipe, but i kept failing,” dream said, then looking over at george. they held eye contact for a moment before george’s eyes widened and he continued dream’s story.

“so i found out how to actually make it, because apparently no one else here can read.” philza could hear the smirk in george’s voice, even if he wasn’t smirking. once again, philza was reminded of one of his sons. there was a beat of silence before philza watched sapnap nudge karl.

“and from there, i actually made them.” karl smiled wide, looking over and sharing a glance with sapnap.

“oh, you did, karl? i’ve heard you’re pretty good with potions. how did you get the materials, though?” philza hoped that the boys would tell him instead of going silent. quackity pursed his lips, before smiling. the five boys all shared a knowing look.

“well, we, uh,” quackity chuckled, nudging sapnap. “we have our ways, professor.”

“hm, i see. well, i suppose that’s all i need to hear. mr. filch already filled me in on the stunts you pulled.” philza smiled at the boys’ discomfort at being reminded of their actions. “let’s see, you tripped him, threw another student’s muffin, put a cucumber behind mrs. norris which made her attack mr. filch, and locked him out of his office.” 

“well, when you put it that way…” quackity sucked in air through his teeth. “it sounds bad.”

“that’s because it is,” philza laughed. the boys hesitantly chuckled along, wanting to lessen their punishment. philza was once again remind of his sons, as well as his youngest’s best friend. the former gryffindor remembered his days as a student, and a certain group of his fellow housemates pulling similar stunts. the thought made him laugh. 

“alright, boys, here’s the deal. you’re not getting detention,” philza was cut off by the cheers and laughter of the boys. philza held up a hand, and they fell silent. “however, you will need to write a formal apology to mr. filch, as well as anyone else you disturbed along the way.”

quackity, sapnap, and dream broke into cheers, pushing each other around on the bench and grinning. george and karl stayed still, opting to smile wide at philza. the man offered them a soft smile in return, once again remind of someone he knows. he nodded, prompting the boys to quickly stand. they all gave him a salute, some more halfhearted than others, and started towards the door. 

“one last thing, lads,” philza spoke up, watching as the boys froze in place, slowly looking back at them. philza smiled. “don’t get caught again.”

“FUCK YEAH, PROFESSOR!” quackity shouted as the boys filtered out of his office, louder than before. a muffled “language!” was heard from somewhere outside. “WE WON’T!” philza heard george say the other boy’s name. “UH, I MEAN WE WON’T DO IT AGAIN.”

the headmaster shook his head in adoration, deciding he’d go see his kids.

“how the fuck did we get out of that?” quackity whispered, breathless. walking in the middle of the five, the gryffindor put a hand to his chest. “god damn, i feel like i’m gonna have a heart attack.”

“dream, the big brain plays are insane! do you think he believed us?” karl, from the far right leaned forward to look at dream, who was on the far left. the slytherin sucked air in through his teeth, thinking back to their conversation with the headmaster. 

“not too sure, karl. not too sure.” dream walked ahead and turned around, walking backwards in front of his friends. george rolled his eyes at the gesture. “invis potions are insanely rare, and i’m sure the professor doubts that a couple fifth years could make five successful pots.”

“but he knows george is one of the smartest in our year, and karl is like, better than that old professor the ghosts talk about,” quackity interjected, rubbing his chin. “he seemed to be chill with it, i mean. he let us go without interrogation.”

“that is true, that is true.” sapnap joined the conversation, looking up to share a look with dream. “i just can’t believe no one’s figured out yet. that’s insane to me.”

“well, that is the point of a secret, sapnap.” george grinned at his gryffindor friend, laughing when the other gave him a dirty look. “listen, guys. no one is going to figure out that we’re animagi. we were able to do the entire process during finals and no one figured out. we’ll be fine.”

“i agree, gogy, i agree. and it’s so damn cool that we have our little secret with our little code names,” quackity grinned, cracking his knuckles. “i’m still so pissed that i’m a fucking duck, though.”

“imagine being a duck. couldn’t be me,” dream quipped, looking behind him before returning to his original positioning. “dogs are where it’s at.”

“dogs! that right, dreamie! dogs are where it’s at.” sapnap high fived dream, grinning. 

“hm, any askers?” george pursed his lips. “i didn’t hear who asked?”

this threw the boys into a fit of laughter. there were a few more quips about george’s animagus being a cat, and karl’s a ferret. eventually, the curfew grew nearer. quackity and sapnap said their goodbyes to the others and split off in the direction of their common room. the two boys decided they’d race. quackity rolled his neck and grinned at sapnap, switching to his animagus form. sapnap switched alongside him. the boys, now animals, nodded at each other before speeding down the hall.


	2. an evening with tommy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy's bored, and decides to go annoy people for a good laugh. he ends up spending far more time bonding than annoying, but who's keeping track?

tommy was bored. he was painfully, brutally, abominably bored. the gryffindor was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. he groaned loudly. one of his roommates laughed, the others joining in soon. this gave tommy an idea.

“guys,” tommy began, the others still in a fit of giggles. “hey guys! how about we go cause trouble on purpose?”

“gosh, mate, you-” one of his roommates, rudy, cut himself off with a laugh. “you sound so much like technoblade. you really gotta stop hanging around him.”

tommy laughed, opting to not bring up the fact that technoblade is his brother. it was a complicated dynamic, what with techno having a huge issue with authority and a violent manner. tommy just sighed, rolling over to face rudy fully. the other boy was sat up on his bed, watching the blond in amusement. rudy pulled his legs up onto the bed, sitting crisscross.

“if you’re so bored, just go out.” rudy said, receiving a round of agreements from the others. “i’m sure someone will hang out with you. you know, like, everyone.”

“well, i mean,” tommy spluttered. “i don’t know about everyone. i’ve never hung out with, like, dream or schlatt. or mr. george.”

“tommy. leave and stop complaining.” 

“rude! rude! you are so mean to me when i’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. i’m a man undeserving of this constant onslau-” he was cut off by rudy grabbing him by the arms and standing him up. rudy turned him around, and gave him a push square on the back. the other boys laughed loudly as tommy groaned. the blond flipped the others off on the way out. 

the gryffindor common room was full of people, doing various things like writing essays or playing gobstones. as tommy walked by, he waved at random people he didn’t really know. most of them looked at him weird, since he was not well known yet. being only a third year and not on the quidditch team, tommy was relying on his charisma alone to bring him to dream status in the school. 

sapnap and quackity were sat together on the couch in front of the fire, feet up on the coffee table. tommy couldn’t hear them, but by the way quackity was gesturing, he assumed it was something interesting. true to tommy’s fashion, he decided to say hello and possibly be annoying.

“...and then, listen to me sapnap! schlatt called me “kitty”. SAPNAP, HE CALLED ME “kitty”! what the fuck does that mean?” quackity was shaking sapnap by the shoulder, the other boy cackling. tommy decided to plop down on the floor in front of them, leaning against the wall next to the fireplace. 

“so, big q! schlatt, huh?” tommy grinned at the look on quackity’s face. 

“oh, you know him? how?” sapnap pushed quackity away, blowing his bangs out of his face.

“what do you mean ‘do you know him?’” tommy mocked sapnap’s lower voice. “he’s tubbo’s brother, dumbass! that’s like, well known.”

the look on quackity’s face was something tommy didn’t think he’d ever forget. the fifth year’s eyes were popping out of his head, his mouth wide open. he sat there for a moment, mouthing words but not making a sound. tommy locked eyes with sapnap and shrugged. sapnap just shook his head and leaned back against the sofa to watch quackity react.

“i’m sorry, WHAT?” quackity fisted his hands in his beanie, furiously fixing it over and over again. “so all of the times i’ve memed on tubbo, all of the dumb shit i’ve said. tubbo’s been filtering it to schlatt this whole time!”

that made tommy cackle. “yes, big q. tubbo hears you say something and immediately goes ‘oh, i’ve got to tell my asshole big brother about this.’ suck it up, big q, schlatt couldn’t care less if you say dumb shit to tubbo. schlatt says dumb shit to tubbo.”

“couldn’t have said it better myself, tommy,” sapnap agreed, leaning forward to offer tommy a fist bump. the blond perked up and touched his fist to sapnap’s. “so, big q, what do you say we go talk to schlatt?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! SAPNAP, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? OH MAN, I SHOULD-” tommy didn’t like the stares they were getting, so he stood and waved the two goodbye, hearing quackity ranting as he left the common room.

he wasn’t sure what he was doing, honestly. since it was so cold, and philza had given them a week off for whatever reason, tommy had no plans. he could go and find tubbo, but he might run into schlatt or, even worse, dream. 

don’t get him wrong. tommy absolutely did not hate dream in any way, shape, or form. he idolized the teen. tommy had never once spoken to dream before, despite being fairly good friends with sapnap and quackity. to be honest, besides tubbo, ranboo, purpled, and his family, tommy didn’t talk to people outside of gryffindor. it was simply easier for him.

but dream. dream was one, if not the only person that tommy thought was as cool as his brother. and technoblade was not an easy person to be as cool as. tommy knew first hand.

walking through the hallways, tommy’s feet brought him to the astrology tower. him and tubbo’s spot. as tommy ascended the stairs, he could hear faint music playing from above. tommy smiled, humming the familiar tune as he went. upon reaching the top, tommy could see tubbo sitting on the bench they’d conjured, after many trials and failures. tubbo was in casual clothes, like tommy. he wore a pair of overalls with a black and yellow striped shirt. tommy laughed, seeing the other startle. the gryffindor sat himself on tubbo’s left, looking out on the snow.

“tubbo like-a-da bee,” tommy muttered, before bursting into laughter.

“tommy! god, you startled me! jesus christ, i thought it was schlatt for a minute,” tubbo had a hand over his heart despite the huge grin on his face. it made tommy laugh more.

“oh no, my name is tubbo and i’m scared of my big brother, oh no!” tommy snickered.

“hm, sure,” tubbo let his hand fall to his lap, playing with a ring on his left hand. “as if you don’t panic every time technoblade says your name the wrong way.”

tommy gaped at tubbo, defense rising in his throat. “i- excuse you, motherfucker, he’s scary. schlatt isn’t scary, he’s just a dickhead.” tubbo hummed at that.

“you got me there. i heard schlatt embarrassed quackity today.” that made tommy laugh, nodding along. “apparently he said something that made quackity go silent! who knew that was even possible?” tommy laughed hard.

“yeah… big q said that big s called him ‘kitty’. i’m gonna guess because it sounds like the end of his name and also is a pet name? it’s stupid. god, i just hate men.” tommy laughed at his own words, tubbo joining quickly after.

the two laughed for a bit, talking about unimportant things that the other had missed throughout the day. they hadn’t seen each other all day, and had a lot to catch up on. every once in a while, one of the boys would stand up and switch the record. they always listened to one of two records, ‘cat’ and ‘mellohi’. eventually it was time for them to return to their respective common rooms. tommy stood up and stretched, letting out a groan. tubbo rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics. the two began the descent from the tower.

“you know, i love towers. anyone who builds a tower is immediately the biggest man in the room! building a tower out of stone? the only thing a man needs, tubbo. besides a wife. god, i love towers,” tommy yawned, pausing at the turn to the gryffindor common room.

“one day, i’m sure you’re going to build a huge tower, tommy. out of stone,” tubbo clapped the other on the shoulder.

“of course i will, tubbo. that’s a dumb thing to say,” tommy turned to go down the corridor, waving behind him.

“sure. good night tommy!”

“no thanks!”


	3. blood for the blood god

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wilbur’s a bit of a wallflower sometimes; he likes to watch the people and simply think, see familiar faces go by. this particular people watching session featured a certain gryffindor bludger and wilbur’s own twin brother, the blood god of hogwarts.

it had been quite a long day, at least for wilbur it had. despite the week off from classes, hogwarts was hectic. recently, many different social groups had been colliding, and wilbur was perfectly content to sit back and watch as all of his friends met each other. wilbur was a sixth year, and although he’d been at hogwarts for quite a while and had quite a few friends, he usually kept different social circles separate. 

schlatt was one of wilbur’s oldest friends. they’d met on the first day of hogwarts and wilbur had seen schlatt’s horns almost rip the sorting hat. wilbur had laughed, a loud, high pitched laugh, without thinking twice. from his place on the stool, wilbur remembered schlatt making eye contact and laughing along. right then wilbur knew they’d be good friends, and he was right.

technoblade and tommy were very different than schlatt. both of his brothers weren’t too fond of the animagus, and never had been. from the first time schlatt had come to get wilbur for a day out, technoblade didn’t like him. wilbur thought it was because of the natural authoritative air that schlatt gave off. and because techno didn’t like him, naturally neither did tommy. his little brother would make smartass quips at schlatt at every chance, starting an argument every time the two interact.

through tommy wilbur had met other younger students, quackity, dream, george, and sapnap among them. the fifth years had quite a big friend group, and wilbur enjoyed spending time with them as well. they were funny, fun to be around, and all very nice people. 

wilbur was leaning against the hall in the corridor, watching people go by as he contemplated this. the halls were full, with it being the middle of the day on one of the only clear days of the winter. wilbur assumed most were going to watch or participate in one of the unofficial quidditch matches. sometimes wilbur would see a familiar face in the crowds, a passing greeting the only thing connecting them in the moment.

quackity was one of those faces. at the beginning of the corridor, wilbur caught a glimpse of a beanie over the crowd as quackity jumped and hopped around the other students. wilbur, for a fleeting moment, wondered why he was in such a rush until he heard what the gryffindor was yelling. 

“SOMEONE HELP ME! THIS IS IT FOR ME! HE’S OUT TO GET ME AND I THINK IT’S BECAUSE I’M MEXICAN!” quackity was screaming, frantically weaving through the other students in the hallway. wilbur made eye contact with the gryffindor, sighing internally as the other’s eyes lit up. “WILBUR!”

wilbur offered quacking a smile until he saw why quackity was running. barreling through the crowd was wilbur’s very own twin brother, his robes swishing behind him. technoblade walked slowly through the crowd, every student his way cowering over to the side. wilbur rolled his eyes at the persona techno had on, his “blood god” persona. the ravenclaw had a bat in his right hand, something he was often seen carrying. as the star blusher of the ravenclaw quidditch team, technoblade often carried around the bat to further his reputation as a scary guy. wilbur laughed.

quackity scrambled to hide behind wilbur, the smaller actually kind of succeeding. wilbur, being far taller than quackity, could cover the other pretty well. if only technoblade hadn’t watched quackity run to wilbur. the twins made eye contact, wilbur grinning at the amused glint in his brother’s eyes, catching an almost smirk threatening to surface on the face of the metamorphagus. techno twirled the bat, a first year yelping as the weapon whizzed by his face. wilbur patted quackity’ s hand on his shoulder and watched as techno took a deep breath. 

“i’ve got a bat and i’ll put it through your teeth, quackity.” technoblade roared, flashing his tusks and dramatically whipping his robes around. wilbur had made fun of him for so long after he realized techno had gotten robes that were too big on purpose. ‘the effect, wilbur. my audience, wilbur.’ 

at this, quackity whimpered. the gryffindor bounced back and forth behind wilbur, watching as technoblade advanced on them. 

“so, big q. hi, first of all,” wilbur decided he’d talk with big q before distracting techno and sending the fifth year away. “what did you do to make him mad?”

“i- i- i, uh, heh. well, you see,” quackity stuttered and stumbled over his words. wilbur glanced behind him to see quackity actually looking terrified. it was a vast change from the quackity wilbur knew. that worried him.

“hey, are you actually scared?” wilbur set a hand on quackity’s shoulder, glancing at techno before turning to the other. “does he really scare you?”

“yeah, i- i can’t explain it, man. it’s so dumb, i know, but he’s just fucked me up so many times in quidditch,” quackity wrung his hands together, glancing around wilbur to see how close technoblade was. wilbur knew he was still walking slowly down the hall, because technoblade was nothing if not an entertainer. “every time i see him it’s like i’m reliving my broken arm, or black eye, or concussion. it’s like i feel the pain all over again.”

wilbur frowned. he was all for the whole “blood for the blood god, technoblade never loses” thing but this was too far. quackity, gryffindor’ s best bludger was known for never backing down from a fight, and the sight of him like this unsettled wilbur. the older boy sighed, and recollected himself. he smiled. 

“alright, big q. how about this? you run, i stall him. i needed to talk to him anyways today,” wilbur offered, heart warming at the pure relief in quackity’s face. the gryffindor heaved a huge sigh, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. he hugged wilbur around the waist quickly, the taller man huffing in amusement. quackity then grabbed wilbur’s hand, bowing down slightly and planting a kiss on the back off it. “damn, big q, take me to dinner first. maybe even just brunch.”

quackity flushed and dropped his hand, cackling. he began weaving through the crowd again, stopping to turn and make more eye contact with wilbur. “you got it, baby. i’ll get you at eight!” still flushed, quackity winked and disappeared into the crowd. wilbur rolled his eyes in amusement, loving the fact that him and quackity could flirt like that and laugh together. 

“hey, wilbur,” techno was right behind him, the bat resting on his shoulder. wilbur jumped, hand flying to his glasses to keep them on. “you seem unnerved.”

“shut up, techno,” wilbur huffed. he folded him arms, still standing between techno and quackity’s escape route. “you snuck up on me!”

“maybe stop flirtin’ with my prey and start helpin’ me scare him,” techno grinned in the way only he does, one side of his mouth quirking up over his tusk. 

“techno, you’ve already done it. he’s absolutely terrified. like, genuinely,” wilbur leveled techno with a glare, the other rolling his eyes. the downside of being twins was the knowledge that they were both equal in standing and therefore never being able to win arguments. “he said when he sees you, he’s reminded of all the scary shit you’ve done to him, all the painful shit.”

“heh?” techno considered this, his fingers tapping the handle of the bat. “i guess i do go pretty hard on him durin’ quidditch. maybe him more than others. it’s only because he’s good, though.”

“listen, i know you’re not sorry. but maybe dial it back? he’s actually really funny, and i feel like if you make acquaintances with him, you two will get along well!” wilbur smiled. techno deadpanned. “just give it a try! what did he even do to make you mad anyways?”

“he was talking my ear off in the hallway, but when i finally turned and acknowledged him he completely froze,” the ravenclaw smirked again, huffing a laugh. “i guess he didn’t know what to do with me looking right at him. he asked me out on a date.”

wilbur stared at techno for a moment, seeing if he was serious. the look in his twin brother’s eyes told wilbur he was dead serious. this prompted the taller boy to burst into a fit of laughter. through his laughter, wilbur saw technoblade roll his eyes. he walked back towards where he came, wilbur following shortly after. he wiped his tears as his brother sighed, scratching his chin. 

“so did you say yes?”

“wilbur.”


	4. karl’s first tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as a hufflepuff, karl was curious, determined, and very good at finding things. a stray amulet in his suitcase seems to be only that— a piece of old jewelry. karl quickly figures out this isn’t the case, and he now has to deal with the consequences.

karl never remembered packing this into his suitcase. when his mom and dad had ushered him from their home in north carolina onto the plane to london, karl had double checked his suitcase for any stray or missing items. this was certainly neither. it was… fucking weird. 

quackity and sapnap shared a dorm with fundy, eret, and jack. that didn’t mean they shared it, however. fundy and eret almost always snuck into hufflepuff for sleepovers; karl had let them in more than once. jack basically lived in tommy’s dorm, since they had one less person than needed. although he still technically lived in sapnap and quackity’s, karl remembered being told that jack had even moved his trunk into tommy’s.

karl’s memory of being told this information is why, upon discovering the weird necklace, he made a beeline for the gryffindor common room. he didn’t know if sapnap or quackity were there, but that didn’t matter. karl wanted privacy and in hufflepuff, that wasn’t abundant. 

karl said hello to the fat lady, blushing when she cooed at him. he politely asked her if he could knock, smiling when she scooted over to give him room to rap his knuckles against the door three times. as karl waited to be let in, he made pleasant conversation with the fat lady, often bursting into nervous giggles at her constant doting. as many times as this has happened, karl would still get awkward at her kindness.

eventually, the portrait swung outwards. karl jumped back in surprise, barely missing getting knocked in the head. tommy stood there, taking up the entire doorway somehow. even at his young age, tommy stood nearly as tall as karl. however, his presence was much larger. karl was a naturally introverted person, not really outgoing until he knew someone fairly well.

with tommy, that was a totally different story.

“karl, my friend!” tommy shouted, clapping the hufflepuff on the back. karl lurched forward into the gryffindor common room, laughing at tommy’s laugh. “what brings you here, big man?”

“well, tommy, i’m here to see sapnap and quackmeister,” karl pulled a little spin, wiggling his arms in a dance. tommy shrieked with laughter. usually karl would be embarrassed at that, but with tommy and in this common room, karl felt outgoing. “can’t keep el rapids apart for too long, you feel?”

“of course, i feel! me gusta, in fact!” tommy pointed karl to the boys dorm. “their room number is 6, i’m pretty sure. eh, i’m sure you know where it is, big k!”

karl beamed at the nickname, he’d always thought they were adorable. “thanks, big t! remember, tomorrow’s saturday! make sure you find out with team you’re going to be on! i better see you there!” tommy had stopped, listening to karl with a grin while the other walked backwards towards the dorms. at his words, karl watched tommy’s face slowly grow brighter, his grin widening. karl knew he was ecstatic at being directly asked to an unofficial quidditch match ran by karl and the others.

“oh, uh- of course, big k! i was always going! and i’m gonna win too,” tommy had started walking back over to jack, sat at a small table playing chess. after the blond sat down, he waved to karl, karl waving back.

upon arriving to dorm number six, karl pushed the door open. this is definitely sapnap and quackity. the door’s unlocked. karl spotted quackity’s beanie collection and confirmed his thoughts. after making he sure he knew the dorm number, 6, karl closed and locked the door, sitting down on what he presumed to be quackity’s bed. 

the necklace— amulet?— had been cold on his chest since he’d found it and put it on, twenty minutes ago. he forgot about the chill while talking to tommy, but had felt it again in full once alone. karl reached into his sweatshirt and pulled the amulet out. it felt solid in his hands, heavy for jewelry but not too much so. the gold—or brass, karl couldn’t tell—wasn’t shiny. as karl ran his fingers over it, he felt the years of use and wear on the metal, tiny grooves and dips on the surface.

the amulet itself was pretty. karl admired the hourglass inside. the outside of the amulet was a ring of metal, inside was an hourglass suspended by two tiny metal beams. inside there was only a small amount of sand, karl noticed. when he turned the amulet to see if there were any other things to be found, the hourglass inside spun a bit. 

karl gasped, smile growing when he realized he’d basically found a good distraction and satisfying noisemaker on a chain. the hufflepuff giggled, reaching up with his other hand to spin it. the chain, still around his neck, began to burn. karl let out another gasp, immediately sucking air in through his teeth. he didn’t want to break it, but the chain was hurting him. as soon as he went to take it off, the world spun.

karl felt like he’d been sucked into a tornado. the room around him fell away as karl fell with it, tumbling through the air past anything and everything. purple swirls accompanied neon shapes and patterns, pictures of different historical periods swirling around them as well. karl shut his eyes, feeling himself screaming. he put his hands to his head in a feeble attempt to save his eyes and ears from the constant onslaught of noises and flashing colors. 

it felt like forever before karl landed on something with an audible “oof”. the hufflepuff groaned, bringing a hand to his ears, which were ringing. as the noises faded away, karl didn’t find any blood in his ears or anywhere else. he heaved a sigh, eyes still closed. the hand still on his head fell to the ground. karl’s eyebrows furrowed as he clenched the hand, feeling grass rip beneath his fingers. grass? 

“hey, kid.” karl’s eyes flew open, hands going to his wand. he stopped himself before brandishing it, realizing these might be muggles. “what’re ya doin’ down there? anyway, i’m jimmy. mayor jimmy.”


	5. late night errands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream didn't often sneak out and when he did, he certainly never got caught. today was no different, but when dream saw professor puffy leave the gryffindor common room in the middle of the night, he decided to follow her.

the slytherin common room, while considerably improved since the days of war, was still cold and damp at night. the squid could be seen sleeping near the tank, if squids sleep. dream didn’t know. 

the prefect was spread out on one of the leather loveseats, his hands behind his head, acting as a pillow. he stared at the damp ceiling, flinching as a drop of water hit him between his eyes. his mask lay abandoned on the coffee table, within arms reach should he need it. dream wasn’t sure why he still wore the mask. what started as a way to keep his muggle family from finding him and bringing him home had turned into a comfort. before coming to hogwarts, dream hadn’t had much of that. 

his family was never big on affection. dream, although born and raised in that environment, thrived off of affection. he needed it. too long without any physical affection, and dream would become angry. a bitter, controlling shell of his usual self. dream didn’t like that version of himself. so when his letter to hogwarts came, he believed it immediately, no questions asked. had it been fake, he would’ve been horrified. luckily for him, after too long of mowing lawns, washing dishes and making shitty cafe food (which he probably shouldn’t have been doing at eleven), dream was able to buy a one way ticket to london. 

he’d originally gotten the mask from his “girlfriend”, simply a middle school love interest. he’d said he wanted to be something original and weird for their first and only halloween together, and she’d made him the mask. it was insanely high quality, made from thick white plastic and secured to his head with a strap that buckles behind his head. dream still didn’t know how, but his girlfriend managed to make it see through from the inside but opaque on the outside. the straps sit over his ears, resting there but never giving sores. once he learned how, dream charmed the mask to be feather light and secure even more. dream smiled, reminiscing about the first time he wore it in public. people gave him odd looks, but it was so serene to be completely anonymous. free.

in hogwarts, dream was even more free. he was afraid that the headmaster would make him take it off. but, to his surprise, philza placed a hand on his shoulder and simply nodded. dream didn’t know what it meant, but if he could keep his anonymity, he’ll take it. 

now, alone in the common room at a disgustingly late hour, dream let the mask stay off. he doesn’t leave it for long amounts of time, besides sleeping. him, ponk, and sam shared a dorm and he trusted them. even though his best friends were george, sapnap, karl, and quackity, dream’s oldest friends are sam and ponk. dream almost never left his mask on in his dorm.

this was the longest time dream had ever sat still. that thought made him aware, a staticy feeling spreading through his limbs. dream sighed, sitting up and shaking his arms and legs out. cracking his neck, dream grabbed his mask, slipped it on, and snuck out. luckily he didn’t run into any ghosts. running into a ghost while sneaking out is guaranteed detention for a month. 

dream pondered whether he should go get one of his friends, or go on a walk alone. dream checked his watch, letting a puff of air leave his lips. waking up any of his friends was a no-go, besides maybe quackity. but with quackity came sapnap, and the younger absolutely hated being woken up. dream decided he was on his own tonight. 

strolling down the corridors, dream kept an eye out for any ghosts. his ears were constantly pricked up, ready to hide at a moment’s notice. dream turned the corner, stopping to survey his surroundings. his feet had carried him to gryffindor. the fat lady was sound asleep. dream would’ve liked some conversation, but he didn’t want to risk startling her and waking up the entirety of gryffindor. 

dream glanced towards the balcony next to gryffindor’s entrance. it was fairly new dream had been told, but he’d always seen it there. the slytherin strolled over to the balcony, the stone railing came up to his hips, and dream had to lean down to rest his elbows on it. the cold stone chilled his arms, but as a slytherin, he was used to it. his breath clouded the air, disturbing the slow falling snowflakes around him. from here, dream could see the lake, the quidditch pitch, hagrid’s house and even the forbidden forest. the whomping willow stood too, it’s twisted branches making the hair on the nape of dream’s neck stand.

no. maybe it wasn’t the creepy growth of the willow. dream could hear footsteps approaching from behind him. he whipped around, and in front of the fat lady stood professor puffy, head of gryffindor. she wore a pastel green, yellow, and pink long nightgown, with fluffy white slippers. her equally fluffy white hair was pulled into a ponytail and her horns jutted out from just above her temples, curving slightly outward. the sight of her made dream relax immediately, against his will. he slowly moved to hide behind the entrance of the balcony, out of sight.

however, she wasn’t looking at him. she was headed away from gryffindor tower, her stride measured. dream wasn’t planning on following her, really. his curiosity simply got the best of him. he debated on switching to his animagus form, but it would be way more compromising to be caught as a dog. watching puffy look around quickly before turning left, dream made his decision.

he crept out from his hiding spot, wincing when his sneaker squeaked against the wet floor. the snow must’ve melted around his feet. making it inside with no more squeaks, dream decided to remove his sneakers and carry on in only socks. he considered the shoes for a moment, wondering what to do with them. not wanting to lose the professor, dream shrugged and chucked his shoes off of the balcony. he’d been needing new ones anyways.

now only in socks, dream stealthily ran to check where puffy was, seeing her retreating form around yet another corner. dream pursed his lips and ran after her, making no noise on the stone floor. he felt pretty good about avoiding ghosts, since he was following puffy.

dream saw her enter the main hall, still completely alone. dream’s curiosity was growing stronger by the minute. the static in his limbs had far gone, his body and mind content with dream for obeying their commands. the slytherin watched as she took out her wand, stilling for a moment. for a couple long seconds, puffy was still. dream held his breath, quickly checking his surroundings before hiding more comfortably behind the doorframe. it was silent, and then it was everything at once.

from nothing, decorations materialized. lights popped into existence, settling themselves around the border of the room, levitating idly once in their place. there were ribbons and balloons flying from puffy’s wand, soaring around the room before banners rolled down from seemingly nowhere, all different sorts of colors. in the back of dream’s mind, he realized the holiday dinner and yule ball were next month, and he figured puffy had convinced the headmaster to let her put decorations up a month early. dream hadn’t even realized he was grinning madly until he cheeks started to ache. he gasped quietly, pulling his mask down to see better. 

puffy hadn’t waved her wand again, but the decorations kept coming. dream watched as puffy watched her decorations finish materializing, both of them admiring her work. there was a moment of silence as neither moved, marvelling at the brand new looking main hall.

the moment ended when puffy huffed loudly, sticking her wand in her hair. dream jumped a bit, rushing to fix his mask and hide. puffy turned around, and dream quickly got out of sight. he was pretty sure he didn’t see her, his chest rising and falling as he struggled to calm his heart. she had startled him good. dream looked around, wondering where he could go as he heard her approaching the very doors he was hiding behind. he thought of all the charms he’d learned, wondering if any of the would work.

he had probably eight or nine seconds to think of a plan, considering puffy was walking quite slow. admiring her decorations, probably. dream puffed out his cheeks as his fingers absentmindedly drummed against his knees, which had been pulled up to his chest in his haste to get out of sight. dream looked up in frustration, pausing at the single hook he saw above. without stopping to wonder why anyone would need a hook right there, dream sprang into action.

he pulled his wand out and whispered ‘wingardium leviosa’, pointing the wand at his himself. he wasn’t sure if it would work, but he needed to try. instead of his whole body floating, only his hoodie did. silently panicking, dream secured himself in the hoodie as it floated up, taking the boy with it. before he could go too far, dream hooked his foot on the hook, his black socks and pajama pants blending into the darkness while his red hoodie was hidden by the shadows. dream held his breath as puffy walked out of the main hall. she had her hands swinging at her sides, a pep in her step dream hadn’t seen before. she stopped for a moment, right under dream, and sneezed. dream tried hard not to laugh, a single breath of air coming from his nose.

puffy froze, and dream saw one of her ears flick back towards the main hall. his eyes widened, foot straining to keep him and the hoodie at a safe height. puffy lingered a moment before continuing to walk. just in time, dream’s charm wore off. just as he was back on the ground, hiding behind a pillar, puffy turned the corner. dream caught a glimpse of a smile, hoping she didn’t see him.

dream didn’t notice the professor smiling at him during breakfast the next day, until he looked at her. dream was seated between quackity and sapnap, the slytherin having snuck to the gryffindor table. his friends were in awe as dream told them how they’d been put up. laughing smugly, he refused to let them know how he knew. when he turned for a moment to glance at puffy, he saw she was already looking at him, a soft smile on her face. she quickly returned to her conversation with professor alyssa though, leaving dream to wonder why she had been looking at them.

\-------------------------

and if puffy did more of her errands late at night, purposefully passing by the slytherin common room, well that was just coincidence. her little duckling just happened to find her every time, keeping her company. not that puffy minded.


	6. an unexpected question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technoblade was used to being feared, but quackity was different. despite being terrified of technoblade, quackity would cling onto the other every time they saw each other. after days of quackity’s blabbering taking up technoblade’s thoughts, he decided to respond. quackity never saw it coming. 
> 
> (this is a prequel to chapter 2!)

technoblade interacted with quackity much more often than the sixth year wanted to. the younger was akin to tommy in a way. by that, technoblade meant quackity was clingy. he had a habit of attaching himself to technoblade whenever the two crossed paths. technoblade never understood it, seeing as quackity was terrified of him. it was an odd juxtaposition that confused technoblade during all of their conversations.

stepping out of the ravenclaw common room, technoblade wondered where his brothers were. although the metamorphagus would never seek them out, he had nothing to do. technoblade looked up and down the hallway. he decided he’d head towards the main hall. 

it was the middle of the day, and the halls were more packed than he thought they’d be. technoblade sighed, trying to avoid bumping into anyone. the ravenclaw dorms were quite far from the main hall, and technoblade was in no rush to arrive. he hugged the right wall, absentmindedly twirling the bat in his hand. technoblade wasn’t sure when he’d started carrying his bat around, but he wasn’t going to stop now. it was a good intimidation tactic, and having something to fidget with improved his focus as well as his mood.

“IT’S TECHNO!” a shout rang from behind the sixth year. around technoblade, people stopped and looked around for the source. technoblade didn’t even need to.

technoblade continued to walk at the same pace. his ears flicked backwards, noting the quick footfalls of the speaker. suddenly, he was being shoved into the wall. his shoulder was rammed into the stone, pain blossoming from the impact. technoblade sucked a breath through his teeth in an attempt to quell a shout. he whipped around to see the cause of the push.

there stood quackity, frozen where he stood. the gryffindor was half slumped over, arms stretched out as if to catch technoblade. when technoblade made eye contact with him, scowling, quackity whipped around to see who had tripped him. technoblade followed the boy’s gaze, meeting eyes with dream. as quackity yelled at the slytherin, he shot a wink at technoblade. despite himself, technoblade chuckled.

after righting himself, technoblade decided he’d keep walking. he spared a glance at quackity and stopped, immediately regretting the decision. he looked like a kicked puppy, if technoblade was being honest with himself. quackity’s eyes were wide, and he held his arm closed to his body. it looked like it was hurt and technoblade frowned.

“are you hurt?” technoblade deadpanned. he looked down the hallway, not bothering to look at quackity.

“I’m, uh, i’m okay! sorry about that, techno,” quackity shook his arm out. technoblade could hear the grin in his voice. “were you worried about me, techno? aw, i’m alright, baby.”

technoblade rolled his eyes. quackity wasn’t going to get an answer to that. the sixth year pushed himself off of the wall and resumed his path to the main hall. technoblade had expected quackity to follow him, and the boy hadn’t proved him wrong. there was a moment of silence before quackity started talking. it seemed as if quackity was able to talk about anything. whenever technoblade tuned in, there was a new topic on the other’s lips. if technoblade wasn’t annoyed, he might laugh. he tuned back in.

“-and i know that there’s like, i don’t know, a really high percentage of people that are gay, right? but listen, technoblade. listen, technoblade. i bet we could make a whole army of gay people. now, i’m not gay, but i would lead it.”

“you’re not gay, but you want to lead an army of gay people. that makes sense,” technoblade quipped, eyes focused on the path ahead of him. 

“well, man,” quackity chuckled nervously, bouncing around in technoblade’s peripheral vision. “i never said that, i don’t think.”

“bruh,” technoblade had to fight a smile, shaking his head. 

“okay, okay, okay,” quackity repeated that quickly, sounding embarrassed. he paused for a moment. “whatever, shut the fuck up! as i was saying-”

technoblade stopped short, sighing. he leaned on the wall. the ravenclaw watched quackity stumbled to a halt, mouth still formed around his sentence. technoblade finally, for the first time since they’d started walking together, looked quackity in the eye. there wasn’t a reason he hadn’t yet, there was simply no need. technoblade was just so much taller. not to mention the voices got louder when he looked people in the eye. technoblade had expected quackity to stand in front him and continue talking, but he didn’t.

“i… i… um-” quackity’s mouth opened and closed as the boy stood in front of technoblade. 

“what is it?” technoblade figured he’d give quackity his attention for a moment. the ravenclaw was feeling nice today, the voices quieter since the quidditch game last night. 

“do you want to go on a date with me?” quackity’s mouth snapped shut, his eyes wide. technoblade, if he emoted, would look the same. he didn’t really know how to act.

quackity’s face fell, morphing from embarrassment to fear. technoblade figured he was pulling a face, most likely one that was intimidating. thank merlin he didn’t blush, even though he felt like he was. technoblade didn’t like quackity like that, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care about him.

a few moments passed before technoblade heaved a sigh, standing up straight. like this, the ravenclaw towered over his friend. they stood like this for a moment while technoblade considered his options.

1: he could use his usual reaction to quackity’s antics, a shake of his head and a small smile.

2: he could act mad so quackity would never do something like this again, but that would result in a whole thing.

3: he could say yes. 

that last option was barely even on the table and frankly, technoblade didn’t know why he added it. the moment stretched for a bit longer, the seconds seeming to crawl by. technoblade watched as quackity got more and more jitterish, unsettled at the silence but too afraid to talk. there was no choice to be made, because quackity did it for him.

the gryffindor sprinted down the hall, screaming about his life ending. technoblade smiled despite himself, glad to fall into a familiar bit. since the hallway was so crowded, the sixth year still had sight of quackity trying to make a path. technoblade set his bat over his shoulder and fixed an angry look on his face. at this look, the people around him began moving away, giving technoblade an easy path. he took a deep breath.

“COME HERE, QUACKITY!” technoblade wanted to laugh when he heard the distant shrieks in response.


	7. not a very good town town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after being thrown through time into a town plagued by killers, karl meets the people. seeing these normal townsfolk being picked off one by one, karl decides to dive into the investigation and get rid of the murderers. 
> 
> (this is a continuation of chapter 4!)

karl peered at the man above him, wearing a pilgrim-esque outfit, hat and all. he had a beard, and on the hand that was extended out to karl, a gold wedding band glinted in the sun. the man, mayor jimmy, smiled at him. karl accepted his hand, and the man pulled karl to his feet. 

“where,” karl looked around. he was in a tiny town, seven humble houses arranged in a semicircle around a stone well in the middle of a cobblestone town square. that was to the right of him, and when karl looked to the left he discovered a fire pit in the middle of four logs arranged in a square. looking back over to the town, karl saw three or four townspeople roaming around, chatting and tidying up the town. “where am i?”

“why, you’re in not a very good town town!” the mayor put himself in front of karl, back facing the town. he spread his arms wide, smiled, and bellowed: “welcome to my town!”

at the noise, the other townsfolk began to notice a stranger. karl felt eyes on him as he watched them pass the word around quickly, more people coming out of the houses. in total, karl could count 8 people, including the mayor. among these people were a man with ears and a tail, and someone donned in all green, complete with a completely white mask decorated with a smiley face. wait... karl went to ask more before he was cut off again by mayor jimmy. 

“now, i’m sure you’re a right nice fellow, but i’m gonna have to ask you a couple of questions.” karl paled at that, despite the friendly tone and demeanor of the man in front of him. “nothin’ too serious, just things i gotta know before lettin’ you roam around free!”

the man asked karl how he got here, and karl had to make up a lie of “being cursed by a witch” which is how he was “teleported here”. when karl asked what year it was, he was met with a confused glance. karl would never admit it, but he was close to crying when the mayor responded with, “why, the great year of 1839 of course! we’re smack dab in the middle of north america, oregon we call it!” the hufflepuff was ready to pass out. after his talk with the mayor, karl was allowed to explore while he “waited out his curse”. karl was simply too scared to try using the amulet again; it went horribly last time.

as soon as karl stepped away from the well where he’d been interrogated, he was met with a face full of child. the child, who couldn’t be any older than 13, peered up at karl with big eyes, his straw hat tipped back so he could see. the boy had bright red hair and wore clothes karl would expect to see at a renaissance fair. the child had a familiar air about him, but karl couldn’t place his finger on it. 

“hi! i’m robin! i’m an orphan!” the child, robin, blinked twice. karl took a step back and scratched his neck nervously. “what’s your name? why are you here? are you going to find who killed my parents?”

“i— hi, i’m karl— i’m—“ the hufflepuff spluttered to find words after being hounded by information and concerning questions. “there are killers here?”

“yep,” a deep voice behind karl made him yelp. clutching the cold amulet under his sweatshirt, karl whipped around. leaning against the well, his white shirt and overalls dirt stained. the man wore work boots, also stained, and brown leather gloves. two brown cat ears peeked out from similar colored hair, matching the brown tail that was slightly puffed out and wagging behind him. the man didn’t seem to be looking at karl. “two of ‘em.”

“hm, i see… that’s horrible.” karl turned to robin, bending down to be at eye level. he put a hand on the redhead’s shoulder, trying to comfort him the same way professor puffy did. “i’m sorry that happened to you, buddy.”

robin beamed at him, saying nothing. karl smiled back, standing back up straight, turning to the cat-man. 

“i’m karl, by the way!” the longer he was here, the more karl felt the need to help these people, if not only robin. 

“i’m cat. nice to meet’cha.” the man held out a gloved hand. karl noticed his tail was now sleek and still, curled around the man’s arm. karl smiled and shook his hand. “how ‘bout you meet the other folks? you seem a nice young lad.”

“thank you, sir!” karl smiled a toothy smile and watched as robin grabbed cat’s hand, guiding him around town. ah, he was blind. karl felt bad for not noticing earlier, but at least he hadn’t said anything rude on accident. 

the three walked over to another trio stood next to one of the seven houses. there were two seemingly normal men; one was dressed like the old-timey governors karl had seen in movies, and the other wore a simple white shirt with brown pants and boots, suspenders holding the pants in place. with them was a man in all green, the one karl had seen earlier. he wore a dark green cloak, darker pants and a loose white shirt. to karl, he looked like a rogue, or retired pirate. the mask he wore was eerily similar to dream’s and it made karl stop for a moment. the hufflepuff shook his head and followed cat and robin over to the group.

upon arriving, robin let go of cat’s hand and karl watched as he immediately went to the man in green. cat’s tail curled around the green man’s arm as his hands settled in his pockets. robin immediately waved goodbye and went off on his own. the three men peered at karl curiously, most likely wondering who he was. 

“‘ello, mate,” the man in suspenders said, breaking the silence. “i’m bob. i’m the builder around these parts. you got a name?”

“i do! karl, actually,” the boy smiled, relieved when the others whose faces he could see returned it. 

“well, hello, karl. i’m miles memington, but miles is acceptable,” the old-times governor spoke in a posh british accent. for a reason lost on karl, it was reminiscent of george. 

“i’m cornelius.” karl expected more, but he was left in silence. cat turned his head towards cornelius, and karl watched his tail flick the other man on the arm. “well, i’m cat’s partner. there’s not much else to it.”

once again, karl was hit with deja vu. cornelius’ voice was eerily familiar, but karl couldn’t place it. he smiled instead, wanting to find out more before he went back home. 

“it’s nice to meet you guys! do you know where i could go to meet anyone else?” karl was glad these people were nice. cat smiled at karl, nudging cornelius. the man chuckled and nodded. 

“well, i mean. you could go say hi to helga.” cornelius snickered after he said that, turning to nod towards a woman sitting by the fire, accompanied by robin, the mayor, and what seemed to be a farmer. cornelius’ remark brought knowing chuckle from miles and bob. “whatever you do, don’t accept anything she offers you.”

“uh, okay,” karl nervously giggled. he bid the other men goodbye, setting a course for the campfire. it wasn’t burning, but the people were still having fun nonetheless. as he approached, karl could hear robin laugh as the woman was telling some animated story in a shrill voice. 

the woman, whom he assumed was helga, had a cackle that immediately hit karl with a wave of "i've been here before" so strong it nearly stopped him in his tracks. the hufflepuff forced himself to continue walking, pulling his sweatshirt sleeves over cold hands. karl sat down on the log across from robin and helga and to the left of the farmer. the three stopped talking and turned to karl. 

“oh! hi karl!” robin, who had a different british accent than miles, perked up at the arrival of the wizard. “this is helga and jack! helga’s mayor jimmy’s wife, and jack is the town farmer! i help him farm carrots sometimes.”

“hello there, sonny! my name is helga, and i’m married to that son of a bitch, jimmy.” helga, who wore a light purple dress and a matching bonnet over long dark hair, leaned forward and eyed karl. “you’re a youngin’ aren’t you? you look older.”

“yeah, i get that a lot,” karl nervously laughed along with the others.

“well, i’m jack. robin over here already told you my job, so it’s nice to meet you!” jack smiled, oozing friendliness.

“so, who do you think the killers are?” just as karl spoke, a bell wrung. the others got up and went to their houses, saying goodbye to karl on the way. the mayor offered karl a place to stay, the boy politely declining. he was going to find somewhere and watch for any signs of foul play. karl climbed a nearby tree, parking himself at the top. 

karl watched as helga convinced miles to let her stay the night, despite being married to the mayor. from their body language, karl saw that the mayor would rather her go anyways. robin went into his own house, not before checking to see if anyone was watching. karl found that curious. cat and cornelius walked to their own house on the far left. karl felt he had to look away when the two seemed to be sharing an intimate moment before heading to sleep. jack and bob went to their own houses, seemingly without any pause. karl sat on the tree, trying to stay awake to find the killers. as he dozed off, slumping over, he saw a door open. then he was asleep. 

karl awoke with a start at the sound of screams. attempting to get up and go help, karl almost fell out of the tree. he descended the way he’d come the night before with ease, long legs stepping on the branches swiftly. dropping to the ground, karl stumbled before breaking into a sprint towards the scream. 

cat was sitting on his porch, door wide open, with his head in his hands. robin and helga were screaming, being held back from the door by the mayor and miles, the men tearing up as well. bob and jack stood near, jack attempting to comfort helga and robin. karl felt chills run down his spine. he didn’t need to walk into the house to know the scene inside. the lack of cornelius and the obvious distress in the community gave karl all he needed. karl immediately sat with cat, keeping his eyes averted from the open door. 

“helga, baby, you need to calm down,” miles held helga close, not caring who was watching. the mayor didn’t even notice this, busy hugging robin. “we need to hear what happened from cat.”

“i was right there… i was right there,” cat mumbled. he suddenly snapped his head up, eyes wide open. despite the vivid blue of them, cat’s eyes weren’t looking anywhere in particular, flicking around. “I WAS RIGHT THERE! i felt the killer near, but without cornelius and the smell of blood everywhere, i couldn’t figure out who it was. cornelius…” he buried his head in his hands again. 

robin had went from screaming to being completely silent, walking over to the campfire slowly. his head was down and he kicked at the ground around the charred brick of the fire pit. karl thought about what he could do. 

“alright, guys. i think it’s time for a meeting.”


	8. ranboo plays uno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> every so often, the quidditch teams do an inter-house game night. usually located in gryffindor's common room, players of the same position group together and play games for an evening. tonight is the first night for ranboo, ravenclaw's first seeker. dream, sapnap, and niki make him feel welcomed.
> 
> no beta, we die like wilbur

besides literal magic and his best friends, quidditch was the best thing dream had found at hogwarts. he’d become a seeker during his first year, and immediately fell in love with it. it was a fast paced position, testing his wits and skill on a broom.

there was typically only one seeker on an entire team, with no one to substitute in for them. this was an advantage for everyone, considering only one seeker means an easier way to see how they play. luckily for dream, he knew all of the seekers pretty well.

gryffindor’s seeker was sapnap. they’d both tried out on the same day, got their results on the same day, and went broom shopping together. they constantly practice together, both knowing the ins and outs of the other’s skill and style. this was often both a blessing and a curse.

ravenclaw’s was ranboo. ranboo was one of the youngest seekers in years. he’d told dream before that he never actually tried out. technoblade had happened to see the boy practicing in the pitch, and intimidated the younger to join. ranboo was quick thinking and quick moving, often making unpredictable movements with no real plan. dream admired that about him.

finally, hufflepuff’s seeker was niki. when dream had first met her, he didn’t see her as a threat. in hindsight that was not very good of him, but she just seemed so sweet. dream’s first game against her resulted in a loss to hufflepuff by more than one hundred. niki was ruthless and often pulled risky stunts solely to throw dream off. if dream had to choose someone as a rival, he’d say it’s niki.

right now, all the seekers were sat around the fire in the gryffindor common room. oftentimes players of the same position of different houses would hang out and bond. philza had brought up this idea recently, saying it’s to promote house unity and friendly competition. dream wasn’t so sure.

“I LITERALLY WON THAT,” sapnap leaned forward and placed his hands on the coffee table in front of him. his abandoned uno cards lay scattered in the space between his hands. “WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET A PLUS FOUR?”

“i, uh, i- the deck?” ranboo was flustered, dream could tell. the third year was sat across from sapnap, awkwardly looking at the scattered cards. while dream and niki had opted out of playing after the fourth game, sapnap used the fact that ranboo was a nervous third year to rope him into more games. dream sat on the floor to sapnap’s left, having his own side of the table and watching this interaction intently. niki was across from him, hands covering her face as she laughed harder than dream had ever seen from her. this made the slytherin laugh as well.

“ARE YOU FU- nah it’s fine,” sapnap switched up quickly. dream knew that he was never actually mad and had realized that the bit he was doing was actually scaring ranboo. sapnap switched to the voice he used with tommy and karl. “you did good, dude! i’m proud of you!”

“um…” ranboo clearly didn’t know how to react to praise or affection, considering what he said and the look he gave sapnap’s held out fist. hesitantly, ranboo softly touched his fist to sapnap’s. not that he’d say it but dream’s heart melted at the grin the boys shared. “thank you.”

“no problem, dude!”

“well… that was an absolute shit show of a game,” dream shook off the wholesomeness he felt and went for sapnap’s neck. “sapnap, dude, you suck. not that ranboo’s bad, but damn.”

“it really was!” niki cackled, face still hidden by her hands. she gulped in air. “sorry, sapnap!”

“nah, niki, you’re cool. i really flubbed that one,” sapnap offered niki a smile, even though she couldn’t see it. ranboo chuckled a bit at sapnap’s words, dream joining in.

“wow, sappy! you got boxed like a fuckin’ fish! what a loser,” quackity shouted from across the common room.

“HEY! MOTHERFUCKER! THIS IS A SEEKERS ONLY CONVERSATION! GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT BABY TOYS WITH THE CHILD!” sapnap yelled back. tommy squawked indignantly at quackity’s side, barred from going in on sapnap by technoblade’s hand on his shoulder. 

this made niki laugh even harder, dream hearing her wheeze and attempt to get a breath in. while dream knew she’d be fine, considering sapnap always made her laugh like this, ranboo was visibly shaken. dream knew that the third year hung around eret, tommy, tubbo, and purpled so he wasn’t used to niki laughing like this. dream leaned towards ranboo and smiled at the other.

“she’ll be alright, ranboo,” dream stage-whispered. niki giggled at him. “sapnap is one of the few people that just set niki off.”

the boy mentioned smirked, cracking his knuckles. “i have that effect on people.”

“i’m sure many people laugh at you,” ranboo smirked at his own joke, obviously trying not to laugh. dream shouted in surprise, wheezing so hard that he got lightheated. niki screamed in laughter, removing her hands from her face and laying back to catch her breath. sapnap’s jaw dropped before he began laughing as well, holding his stomach. dream saw ranboo was obviously ecstatic that no one was upset at his quip.

“god, ranboo, that was-” sapnap wiped a tear from his eye. “that was a good one, you absolutely demolished me.”

“thank you, uh, sapnap,” dream could hear the smile in ranboo’s voice even though he wasn’t smiling. the slytherin caught his breath, coughing from the effort. 

after that, things died down. the four seekers sat and chatted animatedly, every so often tuning in to the bludgers’ conversation for some entertainment. dream got to watch as ranboo slowly became more and more comfortable with them, making more quips and laughing as much as the others were. dream was glad that ranboo was getting comfortable with them, and a glance with sapnap let him know that the gryffindor felt the same. 

eventually, it was getting late and everyone began their goodbyes. dream hugged sapnap and niki, towering over them both. niki giggled into his chest like she always did, and sapnap pinched his sides playfully. none of them went in for a hug with the youngest, deciding silently they’d let ranboo come to them. the tall boy stood near the older students, wringing his hands together and looking at the ground. dream heard sapnap inhale.

“hey, ranboo! you get a hug too, if you want!” before ranboo could answer, sapnap continued. “or not, that’s fine too! y’know, george isn’t big on that stuff either, must be a ravenclaw thing!” 

dream watched ranboo consider this before looking up at sapnap and smiling. “i think… i think i can try a hug. i’ve never really hugged anyone before.” niki gasped at this.

“what? ranboo, if you want, come over here and hug me!” the girl, much shorter than ranboo, opened her arms in invitation. her smile was as bright as could be. dream saw ranboo clench his jaw before walking into niki’s arms. she wrapped him into a bear hug, at least she tried. her face was in ranboo’s chest, and her arms around his waist. he sat awkwardly for a moment before the other boys watched him melt, placing his head on top of niki’s and wrapping his arms around her. dream locked gazes with sapnap, both boys grinning wide. after a moment, ranboo pulled back. 

“that was actually really nice, niki, i… that was really nice.” ranboo looked over at dream and sapnap and grinned. “are you guys…?”

at this, sapnap scooped ranboo into his arms and spun him around. ranboo shouted in surprise before bursting into laughter, holding on to sapnap’s shoulders. the gryffindor was much stronger than he let on and dream was sure ranboo was caught off guard. after a spin or two, sapnap set ranboo down and clapped him on the back. ranboo stumbled forward, embarrassed and out of breath. dream smiled, and opened his arms. ranboo walked into them much more confident than his first hug, which made dream smile more. their hug was more normal, since ranboo wasn’t that much taller than dream. after separating, dream set a hand on ranboo’s shoulder.

“i’m glad you’re comfortable with us like that, ranboo.” dream really meant that. ranboo, who hadn’t stopped smiling since he hugged sapnap, nodded enthusiastically. the rest of them chuckled and said their goodbyes.

walking back to his common room listening to schlatt and tubbo bicker, dream was glad he’d made another friend.


	9. trouble. on purpose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technoblade didn't do "fun", he didn't do "hanging out". his brothers often dragged him out with promises of chaos and anarchy only to disappoint him. today, technoblade realized maybe there was nothing to be disappointed about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is really short but it's one of my favorites! the sleepy bois inc is a huge comfort dynamic for me, on top of the feral boys, and i rarely write for them! let me know if short ones like these are preferred over the longer ones i've done! alright, this is the last one i'll post today hehe, i'm just excited!!!

technoblade was a lot of things. he was blunt, violent, and wildly uncontrollable. technoblade was not someone who was told what to do. technoblade was the blood god of hogwarts, the most vicious quidditch player in the school. he didn’t do “fun”. 

however, causing trouble? and doing it solely to do it? now that was fun. less fun in his current situation, but he suppose there were pros and cons to everything.

“TECHNO, OH GOD, TECHNO, PLEASE!” technoblade pulled a face against his will, his ears flicking away from the voice of their own accord. “TECHNO, HE’S GONNA KILL ME, GOD DAMMIT! FUCKING HELL!”

technoblade ignored him, sitting on the floor of his dorm room. he was facing away from tommy and wilbur. across from him, tubbo was sat with his knees pulled up to his chest. he was resting his chin on said knees, tongue stuck out in concentration. the metamorphagus moved his king the wrong way, and technoblade immediately checkmated him. tubbo wailed in defeat, dramatically flinging himself backwards to lay flat on his back. technoblade sat back, sighing. this was the third time he’s beaten tubbo today. when tommy said he wanted to cause trouble, this is not what technoblade had anticipated.

“tommy, tommy! stop yelling! why the fuck are you yelling?” wilbur was yelling too. technoblade turned around, seeing the smirk on his twin’s face. “there’s no reason to be yelling.”

wilbur had tommy in a headlock, essentially. one arm was around tommy’s neck, the other coming up to ruffle the other’s hair. wilbur’s legs were wrapped around tommy’s torso, and tommy was kicking his legs comically. technoblade felt a headache forming behind his eyes, the voices in his head chittering. mixed with the voices of his brothers, technoblade was really feeling a migraine.

“guys, guys, guys,” technoblade would not raise his voice. he was better than that, than his brothers. “why don’t we actually go do something? i was promised trouble. on purpose, might i add.”

“you say that so often. why?” at his voice, technoblade’s brothers halted their fight. technoblade could hear tubbo sit up at tommy’s question, his ears flicking towards the slytherin. “because it’s simply just a dumb phrase. a dumb phrase. stupid, too.”

“tommy. question. have you ever had a thought in your life?” wilbur let the youngest go, stretching his legs and arms. technoblade heard various cracks from his twin, the older’s brows furrowing. 

“hm, no! i don’t think he has!” the pleasant tone of tubbo’s voice caught technoblade off guard, startling a laugh out technoblade. when he glanced at tubbo, the slytherin was beaming at him, eyes bright. the voices told technoblade that tubbo shouldn’t be looking right at him, that technoblade should beat him to a pulp for even glancing in the ravenclaw’s direction. technoblade pressed his nails into his right hand, twisting around and using his left hand to ruffle tubbo’s hair roughly. tubbo broke into a grin, laughing. technoblade returned his hand to his lap, turning around and beginning to laugh as well.

he guessed this was almost as fun as causing chaos. almost.

“i’m going to make fun of schlatt and dream.” technoblade stood up and grabbed his bat, the words bringing on chaos.

“WOAH, WOAH, DON’T MAKE ME TALK TO DREAM RIGHT NOW, I’M NOT READY-”

“tommy, i swear- techno, i’m down but i want some food first.”

“yes! it’s annoy schlatt day!”

technoblade didn’t answer or wait, walking out without looking back. judging from the amount of shouting and rustling following him, they were coming with him. technoblade smiled. good.


	10. popping off?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> george never made friends well. he said what he thought without pause and wasn’t afraid to intimidate those around him for some peace and quiet. quackity was not someone who was intimidated by george, and the pair quickly became a new kind of wild.

george was seriously regretting letting quackity into his life. not because the gryffindor was annoying, and he definitely was, but because quackity had knocked loose something in the ravenclaw’s head. prior to meeting and consequently becoming good friends with quackity, george was the level head. the logical one, checking facts and his friends when they needed it. george was the one who finished dream’s half materialized plans, the ones his friend would draw on a napkin at dinner or on his homework.

and then quackity showed up. george had met him before their second year, the pair sharing some classes. but quackity had been too shy, george too intimidating. they’d never spoken.

when him, dream, and sapnap had started the unofficial weekend quidditch tournaments, they realized they would need more teammates. even though they’d shrunk the team sizes to five, cutting out a chaser and a beater, they still needed two more. since george and sapnap were chasers and dream was a seeker, they’d need a keeper and a beater. dream always went to every quidditch game, so george told him to scout out someone their year that might be a good fit. dream had found karl, the hufflepuff keeper. sapnap, without ever being told to, brought quackity to george, akin to the way a cat brings a dead bird to their owner. from then on, the five of the had been inseparable.

all five of them brought out the best in george in different ways, but quackity was different. him and george simply had no filter together. if the stars aligned where everyone else was busy, quackity and george would go out and cause absolute mayhem.

george cleared his throat. his trip down memory lane was for a reason, and the reason was right in front of him. 

“GOGY,” quackity was sprinting back and forth in front of the brunette, his robes on fire. george knew any spell needed to mend this situation, but the ravenclaw was laughing far too hard to even get his wand out. “GOGY, PLEASE HELP ME!”

george doubled over, shrieking in laughter. quackity’s screams and jumbled spanish mingled with the eerie noises of the forbidden forest, creating a juxtaposition that made george laugh even harder. george watched through teary eyes as quackity remembered the spell and conjured water to put himself out. the gryffindor then used a spell that george was unfamiliar with to dry himself off. the possibility that quackity knew something george didn’t made the man stop laughing for a moment.

“wait,” george began, repeating the word at least ten times in a couple seconds. “what’s that spell?”

“oh, this one? oh, yeah! i just learned it today! from this guy i met!” quackity stopped running, plopping down on the ground after using the spell to make a spot for himself.

“who taught it to you?” george wanted to know. it seemed to be a useful spell, and the stereotypical ravenclaw in him had to know.

“joe! i think he’s, uh. he’s a hufflepuff? maybe?” quackity’s head was turned away from george. he had a weird tone of voice that george elected to ignore in favor of learning the spell.

“joe? quackity, joe who?” as soon as the words left george’s mouth, he let his head fall forward. george felt himself flush with embarrassment, a smile creeping onto his face. 

“JOE MAMA!” quackity shrieks of laughter were piercing, and george couldn’t help but start laughing too. quackity cleared a spot next to him through laughter. george sat, and as soon as he did, the gryffindor latched onto him. george was shaken by his shoulder, trying not to burst into laughter as the boy next to him tried to catch his breath.

“i hate you,” george used the arm not in quackity’s grip to steady himself as he looked through the trees and into the sky. “i hate you so much.”

this prompted another shriek-laugh from his friend. george startled, bursting into laughter at himself. the two rolled around, occasionally shouting inside jokes and wheezing insults at each other to fuel the fire. suddenly george heard something. he went to pull quackity into a sitting position but his friend had already stood. george scrambled to his feet as rustling was heard from the boys’ left. 

“ah, shit. george, we shouldn’t have been so loud in here,” quackity rocked back and forward on the balls of his feet, swinging his arms. “if i had to guess, those are giant spiders. one of the ghost’s told me all about them. you know, that ghost’s little brother’s best friend- no… maybe boyfr- nope definitely best friend. anyway his best friend was apparently har-”

george slapped a hand over quackity’s mouth, knowing that simply telling him to be quiet when he was scared was fruitless. quackity removed george’s hand from his mouth and simply attached himself to george’s side.

rustling was now to the left and in front of them. george didn’t even try to pry quackity off of him. 

the rustling got louder and out of the bushes came the biggest spider george had ever seen in his life. it was the size of a bus, and following it were hundreds of dog-sized spiders, skittling towards him and quackity. the boys scrambled to grab each other, tangling their arms.

they stood frozen for a moment. slowly locking eyes with each other, two simultaneous screeches rung through the air. the boys took off.

george, right now, should be regretting ever becoming so attached to quackity. but as the gryffindor and him sprinted out of the forest, tripping over each other and pulling the other along, george figured it wasn’t such a bad choice. 

“you are such a nimrod, big q!”


	11. your new reputation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> since tommy had arrived at hogwarts, wilbur had taken up a "cool, aloof big brother" role to him and the rest of the school. it had quickly become his personality. one day, wilbur decides he's done with that act. schlatt's along for the ride despite his protests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> platonic schlattbur is good for the soul! also in this au, wilbur and schlatt are the characters if you leave out the villain arcs :] this chapter contains swearing! this one is kinda short, sorry!

being the middle child in an (almost) fully adopted, magical, and powerful family is harder than it seems. keeping up a reputation of being aloof, pensive, and powerful is very hard when one’s little brother is a gremlin and one’s twin is feared by the entire school. honestly, wilbur was done with it.

“god dammit, wilbur,” schlatt rubbed his eyes, nose scrunching up. wilbur grabbed schlatt’s arm and dragged him up to wilbur and techno’s dorm. techno wasn’t there. once inside, schlatt flopped onto wilbur’s bed with a groan. “what the hell do you want? i was sleeping.”

“sleep is for pussies, schlatt.” his friend’s eyes snapped up to look at wilbur in shock. the ravenclaw sat in the armchair next to his bed, leaning back and looking at schlatt. wilbur rarely let his articulate facade fall around anyone. “listen. i’m done trying to be wilbur soot, cool dude.”

“you, uh… you never were,” schlatt tried not to laugh at his own joke, wilbur could tell. he decided to ignore it.

“listen, schlatt, my dude.” wilbur steepled his hands under his chin. he narrowed his eyes and grinned. “i’m a dirty crime boy now.”

schlatt was silent for a long while. with anyone else, wilbur would’ve let the silence continue. but since it was schlatt, the ravenclaw narrowed his eyes at his friend. schlatt was laying on his back, staring at the canopy above wilbur’s bed. wilbur sighed.

“why are you ignoring me?” wilbur deadpanned, waiting for a reaction. he got one in the form of schlatt’s sideye.

“you’re a dirty crime boy.”

“yes. yes, i am.”

“wil, i’m sorry,” schlatt leaned up, using his elbows to support himself. “but that is the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard come out of your pretty little mouth.”

wilbur rolled his eyes, huffing a laugh. schlatt laughed too, flopping back down onto the bed. it was silent again. 

“i want to be a dirty crime boy,” wilbur mused. “it’s got a lot of potential in the comedy department. big laughs.”

“what do you need laughs for?” schlatt sat up completely. “people already like you, wilbur. don’t be annoying.”

“i’m not being annoying,” wilbur whined, crossing his arms.

“wil, how-” schlatt cut himself off with a laugh. “how fucking old are you? you wanna be a wittle dirty crime boy? aw, poor little wilbur.”

“schlatt, you are one sick son of a bitch,” wilbur sighed heavily. “i just don’t know which me i want to be.”

“are you really asking me for advice?” the slytherin gestured to himself. “me.”

“god, i don’t know, schlatt! you’re my best friend and i feel like you’re the only one who understands!” wilbur thought about his next words carefully. “you’re different around different people too, you know.”

“yeah, yeah. i know.” wilbur didn’t expect him to say that. “that’s how people like us are. wilbur. we’re leaders, and leaders adapt to their surroundings, whether for themselves or the dumbasses they got followin’ them around.”

wilbur considered that. schlatt was never one to take advice from; the man could never take anything seriously. but wilbur knew that he was being serious now. one thing that wilbur loved about schlatt was that he was unabashedly himself with wilbur. the ravenclaw appreciated that. he smiled. 

“you’re right, schlatt. i agree.” schlatt’s head whipped towards the other boy, eyes wide. wilbur wasn’t usually so willing to agree with his friend and it was comical to see the other boy so shocked. 

“you do? who the hell are you, and what have you done with the dirty crime boy?”

wilbur fell out of his chair laughing, schlatt cracking up on his bed.


	12. quidditch, my beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ranboo reminisces on his arrival at hogwarts as he gets ready to prepare for quidditch tryouts. remembering this, he climbs onto the broom, ready for warm-up laps. a shout from an unexpected visitor causes his morning routine to take a turn for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt angsty, the summary is misleading bc its funny hehe!! forgive the messy transition, the first part went longer than i thought it would tbh

rarely did anyone get transferred to hogwarts from elsewhere. it was only when the headmaster would find someone notably worthy would they go through the process to get them transferred. when ranboo was found wandering in the forbidden forest, however, the process was unneeded. he remembered nothing of his past, and had no prior residences or schooling records. despite his horrible memory, ranboo remembered being brought into hogwarts clearly. a memory that often pushed itself through the haze of his amnesia was one of the ravenclaw’s all time favorites: meeting philza, wilbur, and technoblade.

\------------

“welcome to hogwarts, ranboo!” professor minecraft, more commonly referred to as philza, rested his hand on ranboo’s shoulder. “this is the ravenclaw common room, and over there are the boys dorms.”

ranboo was led around the circular room, admiring the blue decorations, illuminated by the afternoon sun coming through the arched windows. although he wasn’t a fan of blue, the color went well with the white of the room and the bronze accents. he found it difficult to take his eyes off of the rays of sunlight reflecting off of the bronze mantel. 

“this is nice.” ranboo spoke softly. he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, or if he should’ve said anything at all. this was all new to the teen.

“it is!” philza chuckled, smiling up at ranboo. this significantly calmed the younger, so much that he smiled back at the man. “it was destroyed in the second great war. thanks to professor puffy and some older students, it was successfully rebuilt! i helped a bit too, to gloat a bit.”

they both huffed a laugh, ranboo more hesitant than the other. a comfortable silence settled upon them as philza finished leading ranboo around the common room. ranboo wasn’t sure what to say. he had virtually no experience with other people (that he remembers), and the headmaster seemed perfectly content letting the silence go on. philza paused at a set of stairs, holding a hand out in gesture for ranboo to go up first. the boy tensed and smiled nervously, returning the gesture. ranboo let himself sigh in relief when the wizard seemed to get the hint and begin climbing the stairs first.

there weren’t many stairs, and ranboo felt that if he’d gone first he would have made it up in two steps. the hallway they entered was pretty ordinary, a dark wood floor surrounded by dull white walls. the blue carpets and bronze candle holders were the only thing that would let a stranger know it was a ravenclaw hallway. philza led them to a door, with a bronze number eleven nailed to the center. he knocked twice.

“techno? will?” the man called out before waiting a moment. he turned a bit to shoot a smile at ranboo, the other returning the gesture. ranboo was feeling more safe with the headmaster than he ever remembered feeling. “i’ve got your new roommate!”

roommate? ranboo figured he would be with someone based on what he’d heard from the other teachers but he was still surprised at this. he would have liked to settle himself in before meeting them, but that was out of his control. ranboo dropped his gaze and fiddled with his hands, suddenly feeling too big for the room. despite the negativity ranboo welcomed it, the feeling being familiar. he’d felt this way for a long time. maybe. ranboo didn’t know anymore. 

“oh! dadza!” ranboo heard rustling from inside, and footsteps.

“i hate it when you call him that.” another set of footsteps, heavier, followed the first to the door. the headmaster chuckled, prompting ranboo to return his gaze to the doorframe and wait to see who was inside.

the door swung open to reveal two tall teens, seeming to be a couple years older than ranboo himself. despite this, ranboo was still far taller than them; they would reach his chin at the most. he was glad all the doors here were huge. 

the first boy seemed… odd. ranboo couldn’t tell if he was nice, funny, cold, sarcastic… he simply couldn’t identify the air about the man. he had curly brown hair, some drooped over his right eye. he wore round wire glasses and a maroon beanie was perched precariously atop his mop of hair. he was, if ranboo had to guess, around six foot four. he couldn’t remember how he knew measurements. 

the other boy was much easier to read. he was taller than the first, standing at six foot seven at the most. compared to ranboo’s own height, which he couldn’t seem to remember, that was nothing. the second boy seemed to be calculated, dry, and smart. very smart. his skin had a pink tinge, to match his shoulder length, light pink hair. nestled in the almost shoulder length hair was a pair of animal ears; of which animal ranboo didn’t know. he also wore glasses, rectangular wire frames that fell down the slope of his nose, giving him an air of maturity that was odd for a teenager. 

with the addition of the two teens in front of them, the headmaster looked small. unbothered, he smiled at the boys and held out his arms towards ranboo, almost showing him off.

“this is your new roommate! ranboo!” the professor wiggled his hands, his gray wings fluttering in tandem. wanting to do something besides stare at them, ranboo gingerly brought his own hands up and did the same, flashing a small and hesitant grin.

“he’s…” the pink haired boy began, dramatically tilting his head to look up at ranboo. “how tall is he?”

“connor insisted we measure him, and he’s two and a half meters tall.” philza puffed his cheeks out after saying this, huffing a laugh. “he’s the tallest student we’ve got now.”

“oh my- two and a half! fuckin’- wow.” ranboo felt like he was a pet, being talked about like this. the boy with the beanie adjusted it and looked up at him. they smiled at the same time. “he looks so badass.”

“how tall is that in normal terms?” the pink haired teen deadpanned at the other. ranboo silently agreed, not knowing what a “meter” was. 

“oh! sorry, techno.” so his name is techno… ranboo hoped he would remember. philza continued. “he’s eight feet and five inches.”

“heh?” techno suddenly got more animated, walking around ranboo and inspecting him. the younger boy lifted his arms up and watched techno circle under them. “how old is he?”

“he’s… how old are you?” philza turned to ranboo, who was still being studied by techno. 

“um…” ranboo croaked, voice hoarse from lack of usage. he cleared his throat and tried again. “i’m not sure.”

“not sure…” the shorter of the teens piped up, hands steepled under his chin. “he looks young despite being so tall. maybe fourteen, fifteen? no… probably thirteen at the most.”

the last words sparked something in ranboo’s head. he perked up and considered. was he thirteen?

“i’m… thirteen…” ranboo tried saying it out loud. it worked; it felt right. he was thirteen. “yes. um, i am thirteen.”

“why didn’t you know? i’m wilbur, by the way. techno’s full name is technoblade, if you were wondering.” wilbur stepped closer, stopping technoblade’s circling. “do you have memory problems?”

“um, yeah…” ranboo trailed off, self conscious at his ailment. “i can’t remember any of my past before arriving in that forest over there. i also have trouble remembering things that happened recently.”

“it’s alright, mate. my boys will help you get settled here.” philza rested a hand on ranboo’s shoulder again, once again needing to stretch to do so. his wings fluttered from the action. “techno and will are my sons, twins, may i add. and don’t let them fool you, they’re sixteen. they like to say they’re older.”

ranboo looked down at the twins. technoblade had rolled his eyes at philza’s words while wilbur grinned at them. philza gave ranboo’s shoulder a squeeze and nodded at the boys, turning around and making his way down the stairs. ranboo watched him leave, growing hesitant to let the most familiar thing here go. he startled at a poke in his side, looking down to see technoblade peering up at him.

“techno, fuckin’ leave him alone, man,” wilbur sighed, not sounding annoyed in the slightest. ranboo huffed, amused. 

“he’s cool,” was the explanation technoblade offered before turning and walking back into the dorm room. wilbur gestured with his head for ranboo follow, the youngest ducking down to get in the door, out of habit. habit from where, he didn’t know. “your bed is here.”

technoblade was stood near a large bed placed next to a large arched window. all four beds in the room were next to windows of a similar shape and all of them were adorned in blue sheets with grey accents. a neatly folded pile of clothes, ranboo assumed his clothes, were stacked on the bed. atop of the pile was a blue and grey scarf with a hat to match. ranboo walked over slowly, picking up the hat with two fingers and inspecting it. 

“look!” wilbur called out from his bed across the room. he bent down and opened a chest, taking a similar hat out of it. “i have one too!”

“i do too.” both wilbur and technoblade put their hats on. ranboo, upon studying technoblade’s hat closer noticed it seemed to have the design of a crown sewn into it, the rainbow “jewels” almost glowing. it felt familiar. 

“how did you do that?” ranboo’s voice was quiet, embarrassingly so, but he was still too timid to really talk. “the crown.”

“this? oh, philza made it for me a long time ago. i hate authority, but people seem to fear me more with a crown on. i’ve got a regular one too.” technoblade spoke with startling softness, a confusing contrast with the monotone nonchalant air still present in his voice. oddly enough, that comforted ranboo as he found himself looking directly at the pink haired boy. “accio crown.”

“‘techno, stop flexing your fucking accio’ challenge failed.” wilbur rolled his eyes and sat heavily down on his bed, tucking a leg underneath him. he turned to ranboo. “he learned that spell literally yesterday, and hasn’t physically grabbed anything since.”

“it’s helpful, wilbur,” technoblade sighed, catching the crown that flew out of an open closest. he flipped it in his hands and rested it on his head. it suited him. “why would i be gettin’ up when i can just have things brought to me?”

ranboo chuckled. things wouldn’t be bad here. not that he remembered anything else.

\------------

and that was how ranboo got here. he would have never gone to the quidditch pitch alone on a saturday morning if tommy and tubbo hadn’t convinced him to try out. ranboo wanted to get practicing before tryouts the following month and he’d been going to the pitch each morning for a while now. 

he’d never admit it but he’d gone to every ravenclaw quidditch game since the boys had convinced him to try out. ranboo had decided to try out for beater, the position technoblade played. wilbur played keeper and sure, ranboo could have copied him, but the young ravenclaw knew he wasn’t quick enough to react for keeper. 

ranboo sighed as he mounted his broom, graciously gifted to him by tubbo. the boy had stolen this from his brother and given it to ranboo. the ravenclaw had tactically decided not to ask and simply accepted the gift with a small smile. the broom lifted off of the ground, taking ranboo with it. he was grateful it hadn’t taken him long to get the hang of flying.

before letting the bludgers out, ranboo decided to warm up with a few laps around the pitch. he sat up on the broom, balancing himself while he adjusted the crown beanie on his head.

the laps were a breeze. ranboo navigated between the goals with quick, sharp movements. from time to time he’d lift his hands from the broom and steer with his feet, preparing for when he’d be holding a bat in his hands. dipping and weaving around imaginary adversaries, ranboo imagined he was dodging beaters and chasers. 

the wind and high altitude took his breath away. ranboo loved it, wooping and hollering as the sun rose higher in the sky. he knew that he’d soon have to return to the ground to practice with the actual equipment if he wanted to stay on schedule so he’d be on time to classes. but up in the sky, morning fog settling around him and the crisp air stinging his lungs, nothing felt real to ranboo. and that was alright with him. 

“RANBOO?” a thunderous shout from below startled the aforementioned boy. he let out a yell before tipping forward and off of his broom. his hat fell off as well, falling slower than he and disappearing into the fog. 

ranboo fell quickly, struggling to see through the fog and scrambling for something, anything to save him. 

time felt slow, and out of the corner of his eye ranboo spotted the abandoned broom. he held out his hand and thought the hardest he’d ever thought. his eyes slipped shut. the air around him popped and crackled and when ranboo opened his eyes he was next to the broom. he didn’t think more of it and grabbed the broom.

the ground was growing much closer and ranboo could now see the green of the grass. his hat appeared next to him and as ranboo swung himself around in the air to remount the broom he shot a hand out and grabbed the hat. opting to simply hold the hat instead of putting it on, ranboo pitched himself backwards in an attempt to escape the nosedive into the ground he was about to do. the broom listened and ranboo jerked to a stop mere feet from the ground. he pulled on his hat and adjusted his hair before the adrenaline wore off and he threw himself onto the grass. looking up at the broom still hovering before him.

there was silence for a moment as ranboo caught his breath, the person who shouted long forgotten in the rush of adrenaline. he gulped in air, ripping up grass in clenched fists as a means of calming himself down.

“bruh.” technoblade, who had been the one shouting his name apparently, appeared above the younger. his hands were at his sides and his face was uninterested, but ranboo saw a glint in his eyes. “that was cool.”

“oh…” ranboo was still panting and made no attempts to get up. technoblade made no attempts to help him up. “thanks, techno.”

“not a problem.” techno watched as ranboo hoisted himself up and allowed the broom to fall to the ground. he smoothed his robes down and rested a hand on his own chest, willing the stinging in his lungs to leave. technoblade looked him up and down. ”try out for quidditch.”

“oh! actually, i, uh- actually, i am.”

“you’re goin’ for beater.” ranboo went to ask how he knew that but techno interrupted him. “tommy told me. go for seeker.”

“seeker?” ranboo’s voice pitched higher. “that’s like- the most important role!”

“well, now i wouldn’t say that-” they both laughed. “it is pretty crucial, and with flyin’ like that? try out for seeker.”

“i’m not sure, techno… i don’t really think i’m good enough-”

“ranboo.” technoblade looked him in the eyes, and ranboo felt like he shouldn’t look away. “try out. try out today, actually.”

“today? tryouts aren’t until-”

“wilbur’s the captain, remember? he’d let you try out now.”

“ah, techno,” ranboo began. he was flattered, really, but he needed much more practice if he wanted to get on the quidditch team as a third year. especially ravenclaw’s team. “i don’t think i should… i need more practice-”

“nah. wilbur and george can help. george is the best chaser we have and fills in for seeker now, considerin’ quackity put our old one out of commission.” technoblade must’ve seen how ranboo paled. “don’t worry, i didn’t play that game. george will teach you seeker and wilbur will give you flyin’ lessons. i’ll keep you from dyin’. you’re tryin’ out.”

“okay.” ranboo heard it in technoblade’s voice. there was no room for argument and ranboo figured he’d take the opportunity to join the quidditch team solely on technoblade’s request. the thought almost made him grin, but he contained himself. “thank you, techno.”

“don’t get used to it.” techno turned and headed to the castle, ranboo following a couple strides behind. having caught a smile small before the older had turned, ranboo smiled to himself.

“i won’t.”


End file.
